Writing Manga:: Part 4: X Marks the Spot for Good Screenwriting

So I cannot get enough of Pirates of the Caribbean right now (I'm practically dizzy with delight at how fabulous the sequel turned out.) So of course I have been wearing out my DVD of the first one every chance I get. Usually I devour everything included on the "Special Features" section, but for some reason I had never listened to any of the commentaries. So I started up the writer's commentary on POC, and lo and behold it was practically a round tale discussion between the four writers of the movie. Woo Hoo! so I took copious notes throughout the movie.

I decided to post those here, because all of my stories could benefit from the nuggets of wisdom these men poured forth. I've divided them into two sections, my notes relating to writing the film and those that don't. I have to warn you, I was a paid notetaker in college, so when it comes to notes I am very thorough and long. But that is a skill that comes in mighty handy sometimes. Read on and be inspired; I know I certaintly was. If the notes seem incoherent, check out the original commentary to hear what was really said and in what context.

:: Notes from Pirates of the Caribbean: Writer's Commentary with Jay Wolpert, Stuart Beattie, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio ::


Elizabeth Swann is the "access" character for the film, as in actuality the main protagonist since her actions propel the other characters forward (being kidnappped, calling herself Turner, etc.)

Balance = action, comedy, character

good writing lets you know all you need to know about a character by their intro (ie Jack's stance while on the sinking boat)

all dialogue and action should play into the character

all love stories are about conflict: emphasize this conflict each time the characters are together

personality of character not come from what is written but from the actor's portrayal, ie Depp's version of Sparrow: "Exactly how we described, nothing like we anticipated"

Sparrow is like bugs bunny and pepe le pew, in that he is a trickster character who lives in his own version of reality, his world different than it really is, always one step ahead

use quick, smart actions to get to next scene

whole film is about a corset. =)

historically innacurate part: the p branded on pirates actualy done on forehead, not arm

weave in important elements of plot and character so are seamless: ie jack's compass, an important part of plot, is introduced by norrington as a joke

audiences die for something fun and original, and if childhood dreams given life (what kid not want to be pirate?)

character interaction interwoven into the action; as fight trade beliefs, not just insults. writing the action in—the moves and elements in the room—instead of just leaving the scene entirely up to a choreographer helps create emotion on the page

best action beats informing the audience of the character, as can demo plot and char within the actions

can look back at elements used at the beginning and reuse them at end

movement in scene in opposition to the principle action/fighting is nice, ie the wheels and swords moving around jack and will as they fought in the blacksmith shop

one central relationship, two people and their tensions, is important; plots come and go, but good characters stay and rise above the story; as they grow and learn they make the story enjoyable

love writing strong women; not get their strength in easy or obvious ways to get out of situations like men do; their strength comes in subtler ways

things change draft to draft; can be huge or small

pirate conventions; untruths about the pirate world the rest of the world knows of (no walking plank, little buried treasure as use on drink/women mostly)

3 categories of pirate film: swashbuckler (serious like dungeons, count of monte cristo), stylish adventure (mask of Zorro, less involved in characters but enjoy), and rollicking high adventure (POC making this new category, care about characters but have good time)

slow reveal: hint at supernatural elements early in film with umbrella in opening scene

sourround characters with events or other chars to bounce off of

sergio leone westerns: if add great chars who are mythical legends, the quarrels of gods belong to the gods

barbosa and jack: both tricksters, but one light and one dark

in action films make the villain the biggest, baddest person you can to heighten the drama and conflict, to pitch hero into impossible odds and make audience ask selves how will ever succeed, ie david and goliath; creates triumphant win and gets audience involved

use background chars to hide lynchpin moments, ie throwaway conversation of two soldiers and norrington pushes will to go see jack in prison, sets off plot for whole rest of movie

if must use exposition, tradeoff is to provide great dialogue

Character in the how, not the what: WHAT is jack/will steal a ship; jack's wiliness and intelligence is revealed in HOW he does it

get the audience to trust in the hero and invest the story or lose whole thing

if audience learns something let the hero learn it as well; makes the hero at least as smart as the audience

know your predesessors; stand on their shoulders and study them, ie in genre

worst thing in the world bring romantic leads together; destroys the walls of separation (class, money etc.) keeping them apart

have moments where people tell stories

put the woman in the middle of the action and see how she does

most interesting villains have contradictions—deep down there is a different side they do not reveal

larger than life characters that know more than the rest

POC is raiders of the lost ark on the high seas—loved that movie as a boy—real action/jeopardy/stakes, real bad guy, impossible odds

audiences only need a plausible explanation to satisfy them; ie bruckheimer really wanted to explain to audience why jack way he was; writers wrote in the marooning to satisfy producer; but in reality cannot pin down and explain jack properly

depp's research revealed that pirates were the rock stars of their day; bigest rock star in his mind was keith richards, so went with that to create jack

the sideshow characters make the story complete; create laughs, help polish off the world

mark davis main creator for park ride; looked at his original sketches

barbosa is the dark sidde of jack

providing great turns for your sideshow character actors is something in all big old hollywood productions but is sadly missing in movies today; pretended thy had great actors under contract when wrote characters. ie gibs was allen hale, guards were vaudevilians, had laurel and hardy in two pirates

set up chessmatch of minds and strategy between the mythical figs in story: the two gods (jack and barbossa) come together to battle and the rest can only watch

how ted and terry write: divide up scenes betweeen them and each write; then trade scenes and make notes; then read over the notes. Always have the scenes worked out before the first draft so know where fit into overall story before begin

save the kiss until the end: creates tension all the way through in the love story.

No kill the dog.

no bookends.

Ignore all these rules as you like

change the rythm of the dialogue as much as you do the actual words

the two gods in the story have similar concerns, think and act similar

WB cartoon moments in the story are moments of great bravado

POC was "writing on assignment": company hires you to do their movie idea

learn enought to use real things in situations for historical accuracy (ie oars on Pearl, facts about real pirates. But also hired historical advisor, rigging master, ship masters for help)

movie meant to be an accurate reflection of the romanticism of piracy going back to Lord Byron—not a movie about real pirates but a "pirate movie"

all good stories: for a minute you think the hero is dead and you have no one left to identify with

flashy performances (jack) require real performances (Will) to anchor their craziness

wanted to hit all the genre bits in a genre film, things the audiences expect and love (mute, parrot, walking the plank)

If movie is a three act play:
Act one: set up story, catalyst for actions, raise questions
Act two: tell the story
End of Act two: lowest moment in story, answer to questions are no, get audience as low as can
Act three: bing the audience up as high as can, keep involved and give great ride, wrap up and answer questions

be exposition lite: visually show the past if must, otherwise limit its importance in the present; add comedy or tension in, make charaters angry at each other as one explains, or use to inform audience of character if must use

do the best with what you can do; best complaint was frustration from crew at artificial limitations; ie shooting going on for a scene in the movie and the actors upset are not part of it, instead have to stay at hotel

constraints and rythms = viola in dialogue

elements of the supernatural never before in a pirate movie, but are in ride, so included overtly

allowing reality of the movie to enter into the realm of the supernatural brought stylization to the movie of a different world. in reality no accept walking planks, parrots unless tell as a ghost story. then accept the crazy things like jack sparrow

not naturalistic pirate movie, rather is a classical swashbuckling romance

overlapping conventions in horror and romance genres through the gothic elements it descends from—lots of overlapping—hide in reality, but allow to do romantic

Anthony Hope: "Romance genre gives 2 ambition balance, courage to the high moment, and to love the ideal object"

High climax encompasses several stories at once, wrapped up at once, fun, exciting, little explanation/expos necessary by that point

writers are now part of the Disney legacy, on screen fo the first time exciting and scary

knew making movie on ride could work if done right

how to lower scenes from R to PG-13: keep actions offscreen and out of frame, but still hear them

tough: having several lines of action, yet audience still can tell which is happening where

"Squeeze the lemon" = amazing premise that you do all you can with it; for them it was getting the most out of undead pirates—jumping in the light, etc—don't regret that you could've done more with that dea, do it; squeeze the lemon dry, get everything out of what you have set up; the good stories do this every time

every single CGI character was individualized based on original actor

pirate code as "basically guidelines" idea gets transferred from char to char, becomes a reoccuring line; first Barbossa say to Liz, she transfer to crew and they to jack; that line is what gets crew to return and rescue Jack at end

cheesy hero lines: can write typical hero lines but need to be good and deal with the story/char

the writers figured out the whole blood/coin mythology, worked out all on the page; so when jack steals still makes sense (though aparently lots of critics missed that entirely though was done as overtly as possible onscreen)

irony: Barbossa finally feels, only to feel his own death

tales from the crypt-type comedy: irony, just desserts, what you did comes back tenfold, you are destroyed by what you want

effectiveness of onscreen

comedic pairs meet finally: abbott and costello on acid with laurel and hardy (two soldiers and two pirate buddies)

not typical act 3 paradigm; usually story kills villain and thus ends whole thing; usually that type of villain does not work on such a personal level as barbossa does (his only goal to become mortal, not to destroy earth or something huge), but this is a char movie, so story not over till all the char stories over, even though barbossa, main villain, already dead

in the early 1700's they cracked down on piracy

romantic pirate: a rebel, outlaw wiht a noble cause; by the end Orlando is the only true movie pirate

hero: does something at the end of the movie would never do at the beginning; in the middle growth for the char comes to allow that change. Will would never rescue a pirate at the beg, but at end risks life to save jack; learns the difference between a pirate and a good man and that they can be the same

lesson learned: that not all pirates are bad; not necc true in reality but is in our romantic version

norrington a representation of the unbending law

can break the law because it is wrong; not when is in your own personal interst or just because you want to feel good

if do not set up the char change, then characterization no carry emotions with it

kiss delivered at very end

fun star (Jack) ends movie like this with a laugh ala james cameron

"Bring me that Horizon"—Johnny added that the same day as the shooting

writers had to approve any ad libs by the actors

in the credits:
screenplay by: means you were on the set, added the wording
story credit: means you influenced how the story took shape

all scripts go to a writing guild; the one most like the finished film get screen credit, meaning you put enough into shaping the final story's plot and words

not a butchered script of the three; all worked with the same goal, translated eventually to a great fun film

writers also figured out timeline of whole backstory of Jack's crew, bill turner, etc:
10 years eariler Jack in tortuga to get new crew and go after the aztec treasure, with the compass he learned the island's bearing; knew about the curse and told his crew, but none believe same as jack; bill was on jack's crew before barbossa and tortuga; they sail out and first day out barbossa says all get equal share in knowing bearings; jack tells them; jack is betrayed when barbossa violates the code and mutinies; jack is marooned; bill stays on board with the crew but wants to do whats right by jack and stick with code; crew goes to Muerta and takes treasure (even monkey takes some); crew learns curse is real; bill says they deserve to be cursed and mails piece of gold to his son; barboss mad at bill and drops him immortal down into davy jones locker (probably still alive but a puddle); crew learns have to put all gold back (maybe was written on the chest itself?) and pay blood

8 years prior: pirates destroy will's ship, liz crossing to jamaica; liz steals coin; jack escapes

over next a years: pirates looks for gold; gold around liz's neck in the water calls to the pirates and sets off movie; also learn that the boat jack sinks in the beginning of the movie was anamaria's boat

touch of the supernatural in the pearl but still was blown up (sequel?); lose in unnatural fog

fine clockwork—all is there; was an odd way to do the story but it all works

::

I shouls also mention that none of these coments wer mine; all come exclusively from the writers. So if you disagree with anything take it up with them. =) And thus ends the writing lesson for today.

I will add other Pirates of the Caribbean links to this blog in time; I've been saving them up and hope to post them soon.